Genuine Ease Without Need
“Oh No! They are going to know I’m a fake!” “This person doesn’t know me and I want them to like me!” Do these feelings ever screw up your ease in dealing with new people? Of course they have. Everyone has had that feeling. Remember your first day of school? It isn’t any wonder why many of us young people resort to texting and emails instead of personally interacting. It’s a lot easier. No body language to conceal. A good reader of body language can tell an incredible amount about us in a second or two.
Little nervous? Not self-confident? Forget about it. The pain in meeting new people is an unnatural labor that is not necessary and I’m going to tell you how to stop it.
As soon as you are about to meet a new person, or a person that you’ve had a bad experience with in the past, see the dis-ease that you begin to feel. Notice where and when it comes. It is the exact same moment that you care about impressing the other person or submitting to them. Precisely. But you don’t have to feel that way.
Trap the instant that you feel the false smile appearing on your face. Tap the strain in your throat, voice, tongue, or lips when they begin to form a fake greeting. Stop right then, pause, realize what you are doing and stop. You are in control. Your baby mind is gone and the adult has taken its place.
Abandon the discomfort and replace it with ease and control. The skill of communicating and interacting with others is as the healthy child practices without thought or care. Unassuming, open, considerate, and not desiring to manipulate. It is really play.